I only bite sometimes...
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Severus Snape and who the fuck does this kid think he is?
Severus Snape and who the fuck is stealing Polyjuice ingredients that shit’s expensive.
Severus Snape and lol a werewolf professor what could possibly go wrong.
Severus Snape and rah rah Cedric Diggory.
Severus Snape and finally, a professor everyone hates more than me.
Severus Snape and the misplaced potions textbook.
Severus Snape and the dramatic deathbed backstory reveal.
Muggleborns using Alohomora to unlock their friends phones during the summer
Hogwarts is the safest place you can be. You know if you don’t go down the wrong corridor, go into the Forbidden Forest, if your name is Harry Potter, you don’t take Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid, you don’t put your name in the Goblet of Fire, you don’t play Quidditch, and you aren’t a Muggle-born.
900. One day, when the potions teacher was exceptionally frustrated, he threw a knife across the room. The muggleborns have called him Gordon Ramsay ever since.
Imagine if there was a deaf kid in Herbology and they were working with mandrakes.
Professor Sprout: Everyone put on your earmuffs!
Kid: *looks around cockily* Amateurs.
what if the knocker on the Ravenclaw common room door is actually completely sentient and knows all its students and asks things it knows they can (or can’t) answer, so for Luna is a slightly head-screwy riddle - and the same for Alecto, because it doesn’t want her to answer it - but for someone else it’s “In which year was was the third Minister of Magic elected?” or “How do bumblebees fly?”